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any fellow trans people have tips for being in the closet in a very non-accepting family?

I sadly don't have much advice there.
I hope someone can shine in better than me.

I will mention, maybe there's some local LGBTIQA+ none profit organization in a close city, where they'l probably be able to provide answers and support.

There's probably some good official online support groups, id google for one in your country, or perhaps one from another country.

Id also check out discord and reddit groups.

I wish I could provide more.
Wish you the best!