PROJECT: REQUIEM

Project: Requiem

I am embarking on a long, interesting and at the same time painful project. On this day in 2008 I lost my mother. I wasn’t there to hold her hand, I wasn’t beside her in her last minutes although she was always, ever, unrelentingly with me every time I needed her. Unwavering.Loving. Forgiving. She was alone in the intensive care at a hospital. Somewhere, it doesn’t matter where. I know she wouldn’t have wanted me to go back and stay next to her in these last awful and desperate months. Because she gave up voluntarily the most precious thing to her – to be able to be near me, to see me whenever she wanted. All with one purpose – so I can do what I loved, what she thought I was destined to do and where in the big world of Music she felt I deserved to be. It was the ultimate sacrifice for a Mother – relinquish the closeness, the presence of your child so they would find happiness and fulfillment.

 

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All of that doesn’t make me feel any better about not being next to her. My beautiful, amazing, incredible Mom.

 

Two tears later, in 2010, my Father followed her. The strain of unselfishly taking care of her in the last 3 years of her life, meant that he was exhausted when my Mom passed away. My Father was full of life and wanted, so wanted to enjoy a little more time on Earth, to see himself in the eyes of his grandchildren, one of which was even named after him. It was not meant to be. Two years after the first blow, I lost him as well. I lost my best friend, confidante, my guiding light, my biggest fan and believer. This time I was there – he died in my hands, while I was trying to will away his pain and suffering, his blue eyes staring at mine…

 

Throughout the years I have “buried” many things. Like everyone of us, there were friendships that “died” unexpectedly, there dreams that were strangled by the grey monsters of the mundane and everyday grind.

I never mourned too long for them. There was an understanding these things were “life parts”.

But I haven’t been able to overcome the loss of my two angels, the two, now missing parts, of our Holy Trinity….

 

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That’s why this project of mine will take on a journey. It starts with a composition for solo Cello, soundtrack and video projection, devoted to my Father, George Pentchev.

God knows where it will take me…

Follow me through the social media links below and you won’t miss how all of that turns out.